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#1 Our kids need to see us have fun.

I don’t know about you, but I can be a bit…task oriented. It’s not a bad thing and don’t get me wrong, I can be SUPER silly, but the reality is on any given day, I’m juggling a LOT. Life can be stressful and overwhelming at times, but truly even with great optimism and intention, I know my face doesn’t always reflect the joy I want my kids to remember me having. I used to shame myself for not exuding contagious joy with a bubbly personality, but more and more I’ve realized that seizing these opportunities on purpose is not any less authentic than a spontaneous burst of laughter.

Plus turning on some music and going to town can make the perfect exit from my own inner funk. How do I know? Because that’s how this dance party thing first started at my house. I did it for me and they joined in, not because I like to dance, but because in frantic overwhelm, I decided to do something ridiculous to get on the other side. We were laughing hysterically in minutes and I took note. I want my children to remember me “big smile happy” even if I need to throw in some extra dance parties to make it happen.

#2 Dancing provides powerful sensory input that’s incredible for our kids physical and neurological development and well-being.

We learned in preschool that we have 5 senses, but what if I told you that we have at least seven? In addition to the popular five (sight, smell, taste, touch, hearing), we also have proprioceptive and vestibular senses. We know that jumping can make legs strong and that cardio is good for our hearts, but this type of sensory input is also good for our kids’ brains. Activating those proprioceptive and vestibular senses can help our kids develop, organize, regulate and thrive neurologically. This can translate to better emotional regulation, attention and mood, which in my world helps everything. This is also why good play breaks with strong physical exertion translate to stronger mental focus afterward. I’m not an expert by any means, but as a mom of a child with sensory processing disorder, I’ve learned amazing things about the type of sensory input dancing can provide. You can nerd out on more sensory information and activity ideas here, here, here and here.

#3 Dancing is a great way to worship God.

When it comes to worshiping God, I’m not big on dancing. I’m more of a raise-my-hands-or-sit-in-complete-silence kind of girl (at least at the moment), but that doesn’t mean my children will connect with God in the same way. For some of us, we go to churches that are more traditional in nature and there is so much value to be had in that culture, but for our wiggly ones who just crave to move their bodies, a dance party to upbeat praise music may be just the thing to give them permission to connect with God in their own way. I had no idea how much my kids would love this until we did this at home. This is one of the reasons I’m loving Sacred Pathways for Kids: 9 Ways to Guide Your Child Into Relationship with Jesus.

Each one of our kids are unique and have different temperaments. No temperament is better than another, but this resource has given me simple language to see the opportunities before me every day to help my children connect with God outside the box of how I might expect. Some of my best discoveries about my kids, the way they are uniquely wired and what makes them come alive have happened on accident. Sacred Pathways for Kids has been one huge epiphany for me as I’m realizing that some of the good things our family has stumbled into, we can actually explore on purpose. That’s a win. Provide me with simple ideas so that I don’t have to come up with a bunch of stuff on my own? Double win!

If you click here you can take a free quiz to figure out your child’s spiritual temperament, what that means to their personal faith journey and how you can encourage them right where they are. Although all of us dance at our unofficial dance parties, my two daughters are enthusiasts who thrive in exuberant worship. As a mom who desires to pass down a living faith in Christ to my kids and grand-kids, I’ve found Sacred Pathways for Kids to be super insightful and practical. I know you will love it too.

8 Hacks for a Successful Dance Party

And if you’re new to family dance parties, don’t worry. I’ve got you covered. These dance party tips will make a huge difference, whether it’s your first or 50^th:

1. Don’t project expectations about how EPIC this dance party is going to be. Just do it and lead with flexibility and your version of enthusiasm.
2. Invite your kiddos to be involved in the process. My kids often enjoy picking songs, creating impromptu instruments, using scarves as streamers and even surprising me with a fresh outfit just for the occasion. That’s always fun. Either way, the key is NO PRESSURE.
3. Experiment with music styles. Upbeat music if often the easiest entry point, but some kids prefer slower or softer music like one might do ballet, interpretive or even couples dancing with. Your kids may not have specific song requests but will likely be able to give you feedback on the style of music, whether through their words or level of participation. Our family’s go-to worship collections with the kids are Hillsong Kids, Family Seeds Worship and Bethel Kids. If you look on YouTube, some of the songs even have movements you can follow, which can be super fun to try.
4. What about “secular” music? True story: my daughter requested the electric cha-cha slide as the last song of our dance party today. Obviously, we aren’t going to play music that’s tearing people down or with inappropriate lyrics but having fun to generic music can be an excellent way to communicate that our dance is really all about our hearts. Doing the electric slide with appreciation that God gave us a body to move and dance and have fun is like saying, “Thank you, God, for this amazing gift!”
5. What if no one knows what to do?! Ninja parent strategy: Try animal and nature moves! Take turns calling out fun movements like stomping elephant, swaying tree, clapping seal or friendly cat. Another idea is doing a dance where everyone holds hands in a circle alternately going clockwise, counterclockwise, in and out. Simple and so much fun!
6. CHEESE! You might want to double-think pulling out a camera. Depending on your kids, the presence of a camera may shut them down. I’ve found it best just to be present and participate with them. Sometimes they’ll actually request to be recorded, which we’ll happily do. Other times, we can tell they’re comfortable enough that we could get a clip or two. In that case, the kids almost always want to watch themselves later. If you’re concerned about them falling into a performance trap in worship, it’s okay to complement their moves or energy but also add something like “Wow, I love your freedom to worship. Just to think that there may be other people you get around and when they see your freedom in worship, they’ll feel brave to worship God in their own way too! And just to think God’s dancing like that over you too!” (see Zephaniah 3:17)
7. Be super flexible about how long they’re into it. They may tucker out and want to do something else after a song or two. That’s totally cool. It’s just as important to end well as it is to start well. OR you may have kids that want to dance for 30 minutes! Mama, you probably have things to do. Stay engaged as long as you can. For me, throwing in some lunges and push ups when its going long helps me to keep “you need to be productive” thoughts at bay. But alas, if duty calls, just give your kids a hug, communicate your exit, and let them know you’ll be looking forward to next time.   
8. Smile about your dance party in hindsight. This could look like a simple comment tailored to the personality of your child. For my 10-year-old daughter, I might say, “Hey, thanks for the dance party earlier. Doing fun things with you puts a smile on my face! And I love to hear you sing!” To my 7-year-old boy, I’d say, “Man, I knew you had good moves, but geeezzz, I could barely keep up with you! I had so much fun.” And to my 3-year-old girly-girl, I’d say, “I loved dancing with you today. You looked like a princess, which you are to both God and me and Daddy!” However that looks for your family, finding a way to savor the memory in hindsight can create a momentum around trying new things as a family and plant powerful seeds in your family culture going forward.

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever tried a dance party? What other fun things do you enjoy doing as a family?

Also here’s your link to grab your own copy of Sacred Pathways for Kids: 9 Ways to Guide Your Child into a Relationship with Jesus. Enjoy!

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It happened again! My son ran out of his room after cleaning it, yelling “That was FUN!” Now before you shoot me dirty looks or hit the home button, let me assure you this is NOT normal. At least it hasn’t been.

Normally, when it comes to cleaning up, my 6-year old has been quick to despair. He spends most of his time in the realm of imagination and his little body with sensory, auditory and self-regulation challenges doesn’t quite know what to do with being jerked into a reality he doesn’t want to or feel like he can face. I’ve tried nagging. (I wouldn’t have called it that at the time, but in hindsight, yep.) I’ve felt the tug of war between frustration and compassion even as I’ve quickly done most of his work for him when no one was looking.

When my husband and I started to take notice of the sneaky influence of entitlement in our family life, we found help in The Entitlement Fix, an e-course by Connected Families. As I listened to Jim and Lynne as they shared stories and modeled role plays, I had a lightbulb moment:

I don’t have to choose between connecting with my kids and holding them accountable. I can do both.

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Why I read this book: Rhythms and the idea of arranging my life for spiritual transformation resonated with everything God is teaching me right now. It’s not that those ideas or practices are new to me. Experience has taught me that every season plunges me into a place of new learning curves and even greater invitations to live intentionally. I had seen quotes from this book floating around on Instagram and just knew I had to read it.

This book in a quote from Ruth Haley Barton: “Your desire for more of God than you have right now, your longing for love, your need for deeper levels of spiritual transformation than you have experienced so far is the truest thing about you. You might think that your woundedness or your sinfulness is the truest thing about you or that your giftedness or your personality type or your job title or your identity as husband or wife, mother or father, somehow defines you. But, in reality, it is your desire for God and your capacity to reach for more of God than you have right now that is the deepest essence of who you are.”

What the book is about: This book explores the power of spiritual disciplines to open us to God’s transforming love. This is not a book about rules and legalism. This, my friend, is an invitation into more. It’s not that the book expounds every way of seeking and knowing God. Of course not. But the feast that it does lay is a rich one and one that has the great possibility of changing the internal landscape of our hearts and minds even as we tie shoes, cook meals and love our family well.

My favorite parts of the book were…This is truly hard to say. The whole book flows together in a very cohesive way, building on each idea layer by layer. I will say that I truly appreciated the section at the end of each chapter called Practice. As an avid reader of great ideas, sometimes I need to be reminded to slow down and apply what I’ve learned.

All the book darts I put in my library copy before realizing I just needed my own copy.

The hardest thing about this book is… This book is written in a spirit of grace, but the driven and performance mindset so prevalent in our culture (and within us) can cause us to filter life-giving messages into more unfinished business on our to-do list. So free yourself from that thought right now. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the filters and lies that would have this be anything but a liberating adventure into the heart of God. As a close second, I would encourage anyone reading this book to not skip anything. I know statistics say that only a small fraction of people read books all the way to the end. As a busy homeschool mom of 3 kids, the perspective and admonition shared in the last chapters was imperative to fully receiving the goodness of this book in a way that I could apply in my current season.

You may want to read this book if…you’re thinking there must be more. If you’re dry and worn out, longing to connect with God more deeply, or ready to explore life-giving rhythms in your everyday life, you will love this book.

You may not want to read this book, at least for now, if…you’re already reading a book that’s incredibly rich. I’m usually reading 3-5 books at any given time, but it was important for me to give this book “room to breathe”. It’s certainly not a hard book to read, but one that provokes contemplation. Plus, I wanted time to experience each discipline through the Practice portion at the end of each chapter. This book is best savored slowly.

Where you can find the book: You can find this book on Amazon or at your local library. My gut told me I should buy this book from the beginning, but trying to be frugal, I got it from my library. Let me tell you, I filled that book up with my favorite book darts trying to mark quotes and passages. I finally gave up and received my copy through Amazon. I am huge library fan, but I’d recommend buying this one. It’s going on my shelf for a revisit every year.

Look close on the left. Yes, GENUINE evidence of toddler sticky fingers.

More about the author: Ruth Haley Barton is the author of spiritual formation books and resources including Life Together in Christ, Invitation to Solitude and Silence, Longing for More and Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership. She is a spiritual director, retreat leader, teacher and the founding president of the Transforming Center. I am a huge fan of her podcast. You can also find Ruth on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

One prayer practice that has been so life-giving to me in the throes of motherhood is praying the Word. There is something so powerful about engaging with the Word of God in prayer. I’ve created a free resource for you to do just that. I believe it will bless your socks off. Click here to see what’s included.

Can I be honest with you?

Even as I write this, I’m in the thick of the raw of life. This week, I struggled to help my child with sensory processing disorder, had disrupted sleep, overcame a fear and experienced a milestone victory, experienced deep personal hurt, and had a number of things not go as planned (Have I ever told you how much I love plans?). I bet if we sat down for coffee, we could talk for hours about countless decisions, the beautiful highs and the legitimately hard. We know all too well that when the waves come crashing in – in whatever form they come – an inspiring quote or the quick fix of man’s praise won’t cut it. I’ve often wished that I could hit pause on life so that I could process all the things going on in and around me, but yet, I’ve noticed that often my greatest sense of clarity in life and motherhood has been gained in the place where anchors mean the most – in a storm. Maybe our greatest storm is our greatest opportunity in disguise.

Seven Questions, Seven Anchoring Answers