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Family Culture
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Hannah Savage - Cultivating Home from the Inside Out
  • Free Pray the {Word} Resource
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Family Culture, Motherhood

5 Strategies for Calm and Connected Kids During the Coronavirus

*This post contains an affiliate link.

These are wild times we’re living in. No doubt your routines and lifestyle have slowed down or even turned upside down. As parents who love our kids, we want to do everything we can to help our children experience peace and calm even when the world outside our home is fearful and chaotic. It is my hope and prayer that these strategies will be of service to you, not only in crisis, but in the good days ahead.

Calm in our home starts with us as parents.

If we want to cultivate a calm atmosphere in our homes, it starts with our own hearts and minds. Please don’t dismiss the most vital piece of what will increase your child’s sense of security: your own. I’m not talking about sucking it up and posing strong for your kids. Quite the contrary. I’m talking about bringing God the storm inside of us, releasing that emotion in a healthy way and letting His Word breathe grace into our souls. Listen. If you’re dealing with anxiety, overwhelm, depression, sorrow, anger or disappointment, refuse to allow shame to keep you from receiving the love that meets us in hard places and gives us a firm place to stand when everything else feels like shifting sand.

Your family may be experiencing financial strain or loss due to COVID-19 or the measures being taken to prevent the spread. That’s real. And HARD. You may feel beside yourself with multiple kids at home, have special needs in the mix or a living situation that’s completely overwhelming. You are not alone.

Give yourself space to cry, vent and process what’s going on in your heart. Whether that’s with God in prayer, a friend over the phone or your spouse at home, or all of the above, tending to your own inner well-being will go miles in helping your kids thrive during this time. If you’d like to receive a free resource I created to pray the Word of God over your heart and family as well as receive encouragement straight to your inbox, click here to share the email address I can send it to.

Be mindful about how much news and negative discussion you allow in your home.

In times like these it’s incredibly easy to become consumed with the latest news via social media, television or our phones. But our kids are sponges. They can’t handle an overwhelming amount of information. (I would argue that adults can’t either, but that’s a different article.)

Between changes with school, routines, extracurricular activities, and vigilant hygiene, we absolutely must have open communication with our kids. But if we’re frantically checking news sources or talking openly about money concerns, our kids will feel that keenly. Our children should get the benefit of hearing necessary information through a news source – us – that’s sober yet calm, rather than panicked. But let’s be honest, even then navigating these unusual times can feel brutal to a child’s heart, which leads to a critical point.

Allow your children to vent their thoughts and emotions about what’s going on.

I know this can be hard. For many parents, handling an emotional or argumentative kid can trigger anxiety. Let’s face it. Especially in situations like this, we can feel powerless when telling a kid that the thing they’ve poured weeks, maybe even years into is now cancelled. Or that they’ll finish their last year of high school without a prom.

The first emotion that may come up is frustration or anger. Maybe he or she even says something that normally would not come out of his or her mouth. Pay attention because anger is a secondary emotion. Under those fiery words or glances is someone who is either deeply sad, disappointed, anxious or all of them at once. Let’s ask God to give us eyes to see our children’s hearts rather than judge them by their knee-jerk reactions.

God is not daunted by our feelings. By God’s grace, we can display the nature of God to our kids by empathizing with what they’re going through rather than shaming their human emotions. It’s only through genuine empathy that we can lovingly interject a compassionate perspective of the world around us and lead the way with gratitude. I’ve seen it firsthand.

Besides when we consider the bigger picture, it’s better for them to externalize their feelings now and learn how to walk through them than internalize strong emotion that may fester as unresolved baggage in the future. None of us do this perfectly and grace is really good at filling in the gaps, but this is the time to model a healthy inner life. The very tools we use to stay anchored in the storm are strategies we can teach our kids when they’re ready. But fellow moms in the trenches, what may be some of our greatest times of inconvenience and disappointment may also be some of our greatest opportunities to shepherd our kids’ hearts.

Focus on connection and relationship above all else.

I’m incredibly task-oriented so it’s easy to feel frazzled or distracted when a lot is going on. Here are a few ideas and opportunities that you can take advantage of in your day to foster connection as a family.

  • Establish news and social media browsing for a specific time of day. Keep notifications off on your phone.
  • Eat meals together even if it’s just one per day. Leave your phone somewhere else and focus on eye contact and engaging conversation, which may mean you listen to your kids tell you all about the characters in a favorite new movie.
  • Go out of your way once a day to stop everything you’re doing just to listen to something your child wants to tell you. If you can, take that one step further and look for a way to enter their world with them, even if it’s just for a few minutes. (With my kids that’s looked like anything from admiring Lego creations and joining in, listening to and helping to edit a fictional story, and helping my 4-year-old with her dress and joining in her tea time.) You know your kids. Join in for 2 minutes with undivided attention and watch their eyes light up.  
  • Do things that your family enjoys together. Our family loves books. Stories are a huge part of our bonding time. Card and board games, walks in nature, dance parties and singing sound tracks are also super fun. If you’re not sure, this may be a great time to start experimenting and find some new pastimes you can enjoy together.

Leverage both predictability and spontaneity to foster a calm and fun home atmosphere.

  • Establish a daily rhythm. When routines are disrupted, it’s easy for one day to flow into the next. Kids crave some structure. You may be imagining a color-coded schedule detailing an agenda for the day. I don’t do that fancy. What’s worked best for us is having a general flow to the day. We gather for breakfast and do what we call morning time. We pray, read the Bible, some poetry and one additional book. Afterwards, everyone gets ready for the day. I help the kids as they’re learning hygiene and household responsibilities. Then they have time to explore and learn about whatever they want. We regroup around lunch or early afternoon and then have a whole rhythm around bedtime. It can be more simple or complex depending on the unique needs of your family. But don’t be afraid to put some flexible structure in place. It can go a long way to save some sanity on long days at home.
  • Mix it up with some spontaneity and fun. Magic happens when you chase the spark. See your first robin? Maybe it’s time for a spring scavenger hunt. Surprise the kids by having watercolor and art supplies waiting for them on the breakfast table when they get up in the morning. Write and perform a play in your living room. Or better yet, give your kids some old clothes for costumes and send them off to create it all. One thing that our family has enjoyed this year is observing fun holidays like Pi Day (fun geometry, math and of course pie!) and St. Patrick’s Day (with green waffles and the real story of St. Patrick). If you’re stuck, just do something that you really enjoy and watch your own curiosity and wonder start waves your kids won’t want to stay out of.
  • Be mindful of screen time. Lastly, if you find a child seems disconnected and uninterested in anything you want to do as a family, could screen time be the culprit? Listen, this parenting gig is hard. There is no shame. If you suspect a surplus of screen time is the culprit, could you tweak screen time to be at a certain time of day, set a cap or focus on screen time that the family can relish together? If you need more support in this area, my family greatly benefited from Reset Your Child’s Brain: A Four-Week Plan to End Meltdowns, Raise Grades and Boost Social Skills by Reversing the Effects of Electronic Screen-Time (available here on Amazon).

I am confident that as you lead the way tending to your own heart, limiting negative influences, and focusing on connection, you’re blazing trails your kids can follow. The best news is that God is so incredibly faithful to give us wisdom and strategy when we ask for it. Whether through coronavirus or ordinary days once this storm has passed, I pray that God would refresh and strengthen you as you lead your kids in peace and full of hope.

If this has helped or encouraged you, I’d be honored if you’d share this on Pinterest, Facebook or with a friend. What questions do you have? If you have other ideas you would add, please share them in the comments below.

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Motherhood, Spiritual Growth

The Secret All the Parenting Books in the World Can’t Give You

I still remember the pile of books I checked out at the library when I was pregnant with my first child. Three kids later through toddler years, special needs, home education and health challenges, I can’t tell you many how many of those piles I’ve read. And I’m grateful. As a 5 on the Enneagram and a chronic researcher, it’s hard to find someone who believes more in the value of books. Yet as I watch my kids running around the house, I’m amazed at how many times I’ve leaned on those books so much so that I almost missed the most important thing right under my nose: friendship with the Holy Spirit.

When I was younger, I often wished that I could have been like the disciples and walked with Jesus arm in arm. What I would do to watch His shoulders shake with hysterical laughter or fold into His arms like John when I needed comfort.

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For The Heart, Lifestyle

Grace & Rest for the news-weary human: How to navigate culture without losing your mind

Someone needs to hear this today:

You have permission to not engage in every single debate swirling around you.

And certainly not publicly. We live in an Information age that gives us more access to news and information than any one person can keep up with.

And here’s the thing, everyone’s threshold is different. Some personalities naturally have less bandwidth for the unending information and debate of our culture. I think it’s safe to say all of us have less capacity to shoulder the constant news in our face when going through periods of illness, loss or transition.

On top of that, we may feel the pressure to speak up when something collides with our core beliefs and values. If we choose not to engage, does that mean we don’t care? What will someone think if I don’t pull out my megaphone too?

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Family Culture, Motherhood, Resources

3 Reasons to Do a Family Dance Party Tonight

(This post contains affiliate links at no cost to you.)

#1 Our kids need to see us have fun.

I don’t know about you, but I can be a bit…task oriented. It’s not a bad thing and don’t get me wrong, I can be SUPER silly, but the reality is on any given day, I’m juggling a LOT. Life can be stressful and overwhelming at times, but truly even with great optimism and intention, I know my face doesn’t always reflect the joy I want my kids to remember me having. I used to shame myself for not exuding contagious joy with a bubbly personality, but more and more I’ve realized that seizing these opportunities on purpose is not any less authentic than a spontaneous burst of laughter.

Plus turning on some music and going to town can make the perfect exit from my own inner funk. How do I know? Because that’s how this dance party thing first started at my house. I did it for me and they joined in, not because I like to dance, but because in frantic overwhelm, I decided to do something ridiculous to get on the other side. We were laughing hysterically in minutes and I took note. I want my children to remember me “big smile happy” even if I need to throw in some extra dance parties to make it happen.

#2 Dancing provides powerful sensory input that’s incredible for our kids physical and neurological development and well-being.

We learned in preschool that we have 5 senses, but what if I told you that we have at least seven? In addition to the popular five (sight, smell, taste, touch, hearing), we also have proprioceptive and vestibular senses. We know that jumping can make legs strong and that cardio is good for our hearts, but this type of sensory input is also good for our kids’ brains. Activating those proprioceptive and vestibular senses can help our kids develop, organize, regulate and thrive neurologically. This can translate to better emotional regulation, attention and mood, which in my world helps everything. This is also why good play breaks with strong physical exertion translate to stronger mental focus afterward. I’m not an expert by any means, but as a mom of a child with sensory processing disorder, I’ve learned amazing things about the type of sensory input dancing can provide. You can nerd out on more sensory information and activity ideas here, here, here and here.

#3 Dancing is a great way to worship God.

When it comes to worshiping God, I’m not big on dancing. I’m more of a raise-my-hands-or-sit-in-complete-silence kind of girl (at least at the moment), but that doesn’t mean my children will connect with God in the same way. For some of us, we go to churches that are more traditional in nature and there is so much value to be had in that culture, but for our wiggly ones who just crave to move their bodies, a dance party to upbeat praise music may be just the thing to give them permission to connect with God in their own way. I had no idea how much my kids would love this until we did this at home. This is one of the reasons I’m loving Sacred Pathways for Kids: 9 Ways to Guide Your Child Into Relationship with Jesus.

Each one of our kids are unique and have different temperaments. No temperament is better than another, but this resource has given me simple language to see the opportunities before me every day to help my children connect with God outside the box of how I might expect. Some of my best discoveries about my kids, the way they are uniquely wired and what makes them come alive have happened on accident. Sacred Pathways for Kids has been one huge epiphany for me as I’m realizing that some of the good things our family has stumbled into, we can actually explore on purpose. That’s a win. Provide me with simple ideas so that I don’t have to come up with a bunch of stuff on my own? Double win!

If you click here you can take a free quiz to figure out your child’s spiritual temperament, what that means to their personal faith journey and how you can encourage them right where they are. Although all of us dance at our unofficial dance parties, my two daughters are enthusiasts who thrive in exuberant worship. As a mom who desires to pass down a living faith in Christ to my kids and grand-kids, I’ve found Sacred Pathways for Kids to be super insightful and practical. I know you will love it too.

8 Hacks for a Successful Dance Party

And if you’re new to family dance parties, don’t worry. I’ve got you covered. These dance party tips will make a huge difference, whether it’s your first or 50th:

  1. Don’t project expectations about how EPIC this dance party is going to be. Just do it and lead with flexibility and your version of enthusiasm.
  2. Invite your kiddos to be involved in the process. My kids often enjoy picking songs, creating impromptu instruments, using scarves as streamers and even surprising me with a fresh outfit just for the occasion. That’s always fun. Either way, the key is NO PRESSURE.
  3. Experiment with music styles. Upbeat music if often the easiest entry point, but some kids prefer slower or softer music like one might do ballet, interpretive or even couples dancing with. Your kids may not have specific song requests but will likely be able to give you feedback on the style of music, whether through their words or level of participation. Our family’s go-to worship collections with the kids are Hillsong Kids, Family Seeds Worship and Bethel Kids. If you look on YouTube, some of the songs even have movements you can follow, which can be super fun to try.
  4. What about “secular” music? True story: my daughter requested the electric cha-cha slide as the last song of our dance party today. Obviously, we aren’t going to play music that’s tearing people down or with inappropriate lyrics but having fun to generic music can be an excellent way to communicate that our dance is really all about our hearts. Doing the electric slide with appreciation that God gave us a body to move and dance and have fun is like saying, “Thank you, God, for this amazing gift!”
  5. What if no one knows what to do?! Ninja parent strategy: Try animal and nature moves! Take turns calling out fun movements like stomping elephant, swaying tree, clapping seal or friendly cat. Another idea is doing a dance where everyone holds hands in a circle alternately going clockwise, counterclockwise, in and out. Simple and so much fun!
  6. CHEESE! You might want to double-think pulling out a camera. Depending on your kids, the presence of a camera may shut them down. I’ve found it best just to be present and participate with them. Sometimes they’ll actually request to be recorded, which we’ll happily do. Other times, we can tell they’re comfortable enough that we could get a clip or two. In that case, the kids almost always want to watch themselves later. If you’re concerned about them falling into a performance trap in worship, it’s okay to complement their moves or energy but also add something like “Wow, I love your freedom to worship. Just to think that there may be other people you get around and when they see your freedom in worship, they’ll feel brave to worship God in their own way too! And just to think God’s dancing like that over you too!” (see Zephaniah 3:17)
  7. Be super flexible about how long they’re into it. They may tucker out and want to do something else after a song or two. That’s totally cool. It’s just as important to end well as it is to start well. OR you may have kids that want to dance for 30 minutes! Mama, you probably have things to do. Stay engaged as long as you can. For me, throwing in some lunges and push ups when its going long helps me to keep “you need to be productive” thoughts at bay. But alas, if duty calls, just give your kids a hug, communicate your exit, and let them know you’ll be looking forward to next time.   
  8. Smile about your dance party in hindsight. This could look like a simple comment tailored to the personality of your child. For my 10-year-old daughter, I might say, “Hey, thanks for the dance party earlier. Doing fun things with you puts a smile on my face! And I love to hear you sing!” To my 7-year-old boy, I’d say, “Man, I knew you had good moves, but geeezzz, I could barely keep up with you! I had so much fun.” And to my 3-year-old girly-girl, I’d say, “I loved dancing with you today. You looked like a princess, which you are to both God and me and Daddy!” However that looks for your family, finding a way to savor the memory in hindsight can create a momentum around trying new things as a family and plant powerful seeds in your family culture going forward.

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever tried a dance party? What other fun things do you enjoy doing as a family?

Also here’s your link to grab your own copy of Sacred Pathways for Kids: 9 Ways to Guide Your Child into a Relationship with Jesus. Enjoy!

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For The Heart, Spiritual Growth

5 Ways to be Hospitable to Your Own Soul

I love hospitality. I love small gatherings around long tables, delicious food and wholehearted conversation. The implications of hospitality have marked me on so many levels. It’s transformed the way I see the Holy Spirit as well as my children, but recently I found my heart ruminating over an idea I’d never considered before: hospitality toward my own soul.

Perhaps this sounds intriguing or even a little odd. That’s fair. But I believe there’s something in this mindset that’s critical for us to thrive at the root level and so much at stake if we miss our invitation. Like a dinner party for cherished and honored guests, let’s start where all hospitality begins, with a warm welcome.

Welcome.

Our soul is a God-given part of who we are. I know, “Come on, Hannah, that’s basic.” I know. I thought I believed it too. I knew the soul with its capacity to think, choose and feel was a necessary part of my humanity, but God has challenged me and still is stretching me to value my soul’s capacity as a most beloved friend in my journey as an image-bearer of Christ.

When God made us in His image and eyed the final masterpiece that makes up you and me – spirit, soul, and body – He exhaled with satisfaction and declared his work “very good”. (1) Our personality and unique ways of seeing the world, of feeling and creating were imagined in His mind about us before we ever came to be (2). It stands to reason that smiling on this gift of soul is an important precursor to the wise tending of our inner life.

It’s true that the fall dirtied the waters of our soul, but it’s also true that Christ’s work has provided for the restoration of all of us, spirit, soul and body (3). When we are redeemed, Christ calls not only our spirit, but our whole selves to the table.

Our soul is worthy of attention, not as a villain to our spiritual life, but as an ally that simply needs shepherding. As a mom of three children, I know firsthand that I cannot shepherd what I do not love. It’s true that our minds need renewing (4). Our vain imaginations need to be arrested by imaginations informed by Truth (5). Yet my soul’s brokenness and disfunction does not disqualify it from a seat at the table any more than a friend’s hurt or lack disqualifies her from my love and friendship. Quite the contrary. Warm welcome is often the beginning of healing. Will we view our whole selves with the same tenderness God does?

This is where we acknowledge God’s good gift in the makeup of our soul. When what is welcomed is nourished, healing not only becomes possible, but probable.

Nourish.

We’ve heard it said, “You are what you eat.” Before Christ, our soul had a limited menu. Even as God was drawing us to repentance and a life of freedom in Him, our sinful nature, our relational connections (or lack thereof) and other life experiences were the main course that shaped our soul’s condition (6).

In Christ, our spirit is made alive in Christ and our soul is opened up to a whole new world of possibility, a feast that for the first time satisfies our deepest need, one in which we are changed from the inside out (7).

“Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:1-2)

We are hospitable to our own soul when we provide ourselves with a steady feast of the Word of God.

This feast is not merely informational, validated by how much we can regurgitate knowledge. Although I adore Bible study and have spent countless hours doing it, even study serves to woo us to the Author. Consider an apple. I could divide an apple’s properties into a bit of water, some pulp and a capsule with its vitamins and nutrients. As enlightening as that may be, if you’re from another country and you’re eating an apple for the very first time, it’s no longer just food with water, pulp and nutrients. The apple is an experience. (8)

You admire its smooth red skin as you roll it over in your hands. You open your mouth wide and take a bite as the sound of the crunch and the sweetness of the aroma heighten your senses. The apple tastes good and its substance satisfies. When you see it again at the farmer’s market, you recognize it and immediately the memory of the crunch, aroma and taste is triggered in your mind. You want more and you reach for your wallet.

Psalms 34:8 says, “Taste and see that He is good.” There are so many ways to feed on God’s Word, all worthy of exploration. For now, let’s just agree that our souls crave the goodness of His Word. Wherever we’re starting from, His Word is a feast worth pursuing.

Listen.

The invitations are sent, the feast is ready, and the candles are lit. As beautiful as this warm spectacle is, this table is but a stage for the main attraction: exchange.  

This is why we’ve gathered. For relationship. Our soul is welcomed to the table as is Jesus, our human spirit and our earthly body. Truly, the spirit, soul and body are all tangled up in the dance of our existence, yet each one offers its function in accordance with God’s perfect design. By honoring each part, we honor the whole. By honoring the whole, we honor the Creator.

Our soul comes eager for Living Bread. It’s a loaf that won’t run out. But in all the feasting and sharing, our soul has something to say too. It needs to be heard and there’s no better place. In the presence of an Abba Father undaunted by the knots in our thinking or the violence of our emotion, our soul can speak its truest condition in the face of Truth Himself. At this table, love trumps fear. Where pain is confessed, balm rushes in. Where sin is acknowledged, cleansing and refreshing come like a flood. Where our hearts just need to be heard, the Divine sits with us. No performance necessary.

When the voice of our soul is shushed by accusations cloaked in religion or snuffed by endless distraction, be sure that the pain won’t end there. Our precious soul will cue the body, releasing flares for help through increasing tension, sickness or burnout. We have enough to grapple with in our physical bodies without it becoming an agent of alarm pointing us to all within us we don’t think we have time for.

No, we are more precious than that. We are children of the Most High.

Are you grieving? Run to Papa.

Are you tired? I know a Fountain.

Are you hopeless? Open arms await you.

This intimacy with Jesus slowly unwinds the lies and, with practice, weaves a new tapestry in the way we live our lives.

Thoughtfulness.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life.”

From this place of listening and tending our souls in fellowship with the Holy Spirit, we gain the understanding that all our outer life flows from our inward realities. Likewise, wise stewardship of our time, energy and resources can be a well that flows inward to foster the health of our hearts.

Truthfully, this can look different in every season and each one of us are unique. It’s a learning process that takes practice, mindfulness and some trial and error.

As an introvert (INFJ / Enneagram 5w4), I need to protect margin in my schedule. Too much busy burns me out. I schedule at least one small chunk of time each week when I can take off the mom hat and just be a person. Coffee and deep conversation with a friend fills my cup far more than a room full of people. I’m energized by new ideas and growing my breadth of knowledge on topics I’m passionate or curious about. I almost never watch anything because I’m infinitely more interested in the books I’m reading. Nature anchors me in wonder and leaves me feeling more like myself. I try to be in it as much as possible.

That’s just me. What about you? What helps you to thrive?

Don’t underestimate the impact of small tweaks to your practices, routines or commitments. In my limited experience, even baby steps in how I steward my outward life can send a cue to my soul that I can breathe a little deeper. Small acts of intention are like postcards to my soul: “I see you. I hear you and I promise that I will tend to you.”

This is your cue to text your husband or a friend and recruit some partnership in scheduling a life-giving act of intention for your soul’s benefit this week. (wink wink)

Repeat.

As with anything pertaining to our wholeness, hospitality is not an event; it’s a journey. It’s a journey into the heart of God for us, and as we’re shaped in that Love, the heart of God through us.

My greatest desire is that I would stay childlike. May I never think I’m beyond the basics. May I never grow so mature that I perceive no need for the Vine. This is how we are formed and how we grow. We keep showing up. We keep the conversation going. We invite Jesus into the thick and thin of us. He’s already set the table. All of us – spirit, soul and body – have a place there. This is where we explore abundant life one meal at a time.

If you’re a mom like me, a grandma, aunt or friend of children, I know you’re looking for ways to help cultivate that same spiritual growth in those precious kiddos, who though they be small also have a soul of their own. Sacred Pathways for Kids is an incredible place to begin. This resource has been such an incredible blessing to my family. Just click my affiliate link here to take a free quiz that will give you some golden insights on how to help your kids connect with God in the way that He made them.

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Article Footnotes: (1) Genesis 1:26-31, (2) Psalm 139, (3) Genesis 1-3, 1 Thessalonians 5:23, (4) Romans 12:2, (5) 2 Corinthians 10:5, (6) 2 Corinthians 7:10, Galatians 5:1, Ephesians 2:1-2, Ephesians 4:23, (7) Ephesians 2:1-10, John 7:37, John 6:68, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Philippians 2:13, (8) John 1:1-5, John 5:39, John 6:68

For The Heart, Motherhood

What I’m Learning About The Beauty That Life’s Storms Can Bring

“It’s not fair.”

I gawk at the spectacle of pink blossoms, thousands of them matted in the grass.

Just a day ago, they welcomed me home from our vacation. Even the darkness of our country road couldn’t silence their pronouncement of spring’s arrival while we were away.

I gazed up at them, wondering if a picture could capture their magnificence in the dark. No way. A memory would have to do. I couldn’t help but smile at them as I carried bags into the house, secretly wondering how long the blooms would stay.

And now, here they are at my feet. Half of them are missing from the tree. In a couple of days, they’ll wilted and brown, longed for again until next spring.

Maybe if my soul didn’t feel bare like that tree, those scattered petals wouldn’t offend me so.

 

Frivolous.

Frivolous like that one day when I was 9 years old. Oklahoma winters didn’t provide much snow so the 5-minute ride home was almost too long. Early dismissal for snow! We had it all planned out. First snow angels, then snowmen. This would be EPIC. We could not wait to see that pristine blanket of white that we just knew waited in our yard.

And then we couldn’t believe our eyes. The boy from across the street had torn up our yard with his hasty boots. What snow we had lay disrupted in the aftermath of careless treading while the boy’s own yard sat perfectly untouched.

Injustice.

Again, I look at the tree and the petal confetti beneath it. I feel like Zuzu in It’s a Wonderful Life. “Look, Daddy! Paste it!”

The ground beneath my magnolia scene plays like the familiar tune of my day. Unlike real weather, these storms come without warning and are largely invisible to anyone outside my own heart and home. These kinds of storms can’t be quantified or compared, nonetheless they demand attention.  They howl in the wild cry of my child with special needs. Some moments can’t be touched by all the parenting “know-how” in the world. When the day feels like a field of land mines and feelings of powerlessness and desperation come knocking, God’s staying presence is the only anchor strong enough to hold.

Sometimes the tempest hollers in loneliness or the unexpected sting of pain triggered by people who don’t even know there’s a wound. God’s healing work within is good and hard, but the storm wastes no time rushing to the rawest places. It claws hard at hope, a surge hard to confront in profound tiredness. Maybe your storm has a different name, but no doubt you’ve also felt its blow.

El Roi. It means “the God who sees”. (Genesis 16)

He’s the One who found me on our playroom stairs today, the noise and tumbling of my 3 kids all around me. As pain throbbed in my chest, He sat with me. The pulsing of His heart joined my ache and invited these walls down. This is what He always does.

I can’t be strong enough.

I can’t muscle through.

And I don’t have to.

So, I gave up resistance to the tears eager at their gates. They fell quiet and heavy, their warm trails tickling my neck. In their release, my lungs gathered new air. In my letting go, something shifted. Light broke through my clouds.

The God who sees nudged me to look again. So I returned to my magnolia tree.

Maybe the magnolia’s not at a loss. Maybe she let go.

She stands as tall as before. Her roots have not left their place. The blossoms on her branches are now mirrored in a lavish display fit for a bride.

 

As I ponder my own heart’s course through storms and healing, I wonder what beauty waits on the other side of letting go. Not once, but over and over and over again.

 

The wind will leave.

The green will come.

My roots will keep pushing into the deep where I’m held from a place not easily shaken.

I can celebrate when all seems as it should be.

And when it isn’t, as Emily P. Freeman says in A Million Little Ways, “Let the day be the day without trying to run away from it.”

And maybe with new eyes, these fallen petals will become my dancing floor. I’ll go ahead and cue the music.

To the One who doesn’t waste a thing. To the One who is still here, still good and teaches me to see the beauty that only a storm can bring.

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I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to comment below or email me at hello@hannahsavage.com. 

Spiritual Growth

Simple Ways to Practice Presence as a Busy Mom: Breath Prayers

What’s a mom to do when she’s hungry for Jesus but feels like this season of motherhood affords no margin for what her soul needs most?

We know that God is with us and in us, holding all that we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), but how do we reconcile the distance and difficulty we can feel with the truth we believe? Why can it seem that peace and rest are just out of reach? It can leave a busy mom wondering if maybe the communion she craves with Jesus won’t be experienced until she gets through this season.

Maybe we’ll feel more mindful His nearness when the kids aren’t calling our name every other second, when the to do list is a little shorter, maybe when we’re a little more rested, just a little less tapped out. Maybe our thirst will be quenched when we feel like there’s more we can offer Him than a messy bun and spit-up fringed t-shirt.

Sister. You are not alone. Let’s link arms and call those thoughts out for what they are. Lies. His presence is for our right here, right now season.

Psalms 16:11 says “You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of Your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” (NLT)

Yes, there will be a day when we shall meet Him face to face. I’m certain there are no words to describe that joy and pleasure. But Jesus did not leave us stranded.

“But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you.” (John 16:11 NASB)

We’ve been given the Holy Spirit. I would have loved to watch Jesus calm the storm and laugh with Him over an open fire on the lake shore. But friend, the Holy Spirit was given. Jesus no longer just walks with us hand in hand. He’s closer than our skin.

So then, what does it mean for us to learn to live from His closeness, instead of striving for it?

I’m still learning and I invite you along. 

A couple months ago, I heard that my friend Summer Gross from A Thirst for God was inviting kindred hearts to join her in a 12-month journey called The Presence Project. She’s invited a tribe of brothers and sisters to be fellow learners with her as we explore 12 simple ancient and modern practices that help us to practice awareness of God’s presence in our real every day life.

A project and community about intimately knowing the heart of God and learning to live our lives from that place of rest?

I had to jump in.

The first practice we learned about was breath prayers.

Summer facilitated an incredible session about the scriptural implications of this practice, as well as the neuroscience behind it. Our assignment was to settle into a couple of simple breath prayers we could start to utilizing throughout our day. The prayer that my heart settled on was the very prayer my mind had disregarded when I heard it.

“The Lord (inhale) is my Shepherd (exhale).”

The Lord is my Shepherd.

I didn’t know how much my soul needed to hear it. I feel like David in Psalms 103 when he said, “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me.” For me right now, “The Lord is my Shepherd” is a prayer because it’s a cue to my soul to align with the truth.

As a homeschool mom of 3 amazing but needy children, I’m ever mindful of the way I’m shepherding and caring for those around me. I need to be reminded to cast my cares upon Jesus, because HE cares for me. His shoulders are big enough for all of the above. His message to me right now is, “Look here. I’ve got you covered.”

And I’ve found out something.

I live lighter when I know He’s there to catch me if and when I fall. My heart is safe in His pastures and His pastures extend into the darkest of night just as well as the brightest of day, coursing through my mundane and wild just the same.

I guess you could say breath prayers are quickening my eyes to see from eternity instead of the temporary. It’s like casting down an anchor that, though it does not eliminate the waves, it holds me fast. I’m more centered. Where my eyes meet His, there’s always grace for the next moment. 

I hope this intimate look into my journey has encouraged you to give this simple practice a try. If you’re trying this for the first time, here are a few tips.

This a long slow breath, longest on the exhale.

Consider a simple Scripture or prayer that you might use throughout your day 3-5 breaths at a time or in that moment anxiety or stress tries to hijack the day. There are no holes to jump through. We’re not vying for God’s approval. Prayer is our response to God’s open invitation.

Here are a few ideas from Summer and The Presence Project community. Try out a couple. Or perhaps theirs a Scripture that particularly resonating with you right now. How might you use that as your breath prayer? 

Jesus (inhale), I invite you into this moment (exhale)

Abba (inhale), I belong to You (exhale)

Father (inhale), you are here (exhale)

For a deeper dive into this practice, learn about The Presence Project here.

Sister, God is here. Let’s remind our hearts and heads that communion with Jesus is not for the “some day”. And I so value hearing from you. How does the awareness of God’s presence impact your heart, mind and body? Did you give breath prayers a try? 

(Photo credit: Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash)

Spiritual Growth

Fear is a Liar: Your Gifts Matter

I have a confession. I’m a church kid. Which means I grew up hearing Scripture my whole life and I’m ever so thankful for it. (Mom and Dad, thank you.) The challenge is that sometimes the verses I can inwardly quote hang disconnected from their surrounding texts. That’s why I often take one book of the Bible and read it over and over again. So much richness emerges when I’m enjoying the sweeping story of an letter or story. Lately, I’ve been doing that with 1 Timothy.  Because the Word is alive, I find those familiar words I can quote in my sleep call me beyond casual interpretation to a life more fully free in Him.

This is one of those verses. 


Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

II Timothy 1:6-7 NKJV

Have you ever noticed how fear loves to set the agenda?

As one who has grappled with my fair share with fear, I would argue that fear’s goal is to get us to live in a defensive posture. God, Who fashioned us in His image, designed us to live out our unique expression as image-bearers totally free from the constraints of anything not found in His eyes and His big ‘ole giant heart.

Fear, the defeated foe, seeks to take us out. Why? To mute our expression as image-bearers. The goal of conquering fear is not just peace, although that’s fully provided for. The aim of conquering fear is the same thing that casts it out (1 John 4:18). Love. We were made in the image of Love for love and with love. (Genesis 1:26, 1 John 4:7-8)

Let me ask you a question.

What’s in you that’s begging for expression? Have you regarded certain gifts within you with more regard than others? If so, why? Maybe you’re not sure you have gifts. I challenge you to sit with your coffee and notebook and ask God: “What gifts have you put inside of me?” And listen.

When it’s Jesus you’re hearing, you’ll know it. His voice is the one Who delights over you. His voice does not sound like pressure. He sounds like invitation. He sounds like the Papa who wants you to crawl up on His lap and show Him the picture you drew, and tell Him all about the world on the other side of that page that you – treasured you – dreamed up.

He’s the friend that says, “You can do this.” When we fall, He picks us us up. When we soar, He laughs and celebrates with us. When we slip into striving, He pulls us back to Grace. He kindly reminds us that our gift given in secret is just as beautiful and important as the gift served in the presence of people. He helps us see that when we change a diaper, send a note, feed the hungry, work with excellence and stop for the one, we are handling and tasting the Kingdom of God. 

What’s your gift? Stir it up. I think we’ll all find ourselves coming alive like never before. 

I’d love to hear from you. What are the biggest fears that try to stop you from being you? What gifts do you love giving to the people around you?

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Spiritual Growth

Growing in Community One Scared “Yes” at a Time

This has been one of the most transitional years of my life. For starters, it was our first full year in a new community and now for the first time in 15 years, we have a new church home. I know some of you dear friends can relate.

A loss of familiarity can be daunting if not straight up terrifying, even in the face of smiling and authentic people. Building community takes TIME. And what we envision as easy doesn’t always feel that way in the process. I’m learning over and over that that’s okay.

So, I made another bold baby step forward this morning by attending a ladies’ Christmas brunch and white elephant exchange. Truly, it was lovely. I sat across from a lady who was one of the church’s founding members with her husband almost 57 years ago. Wow, what history. I have a lot of respect for a person who’s leaned into Jesus and His people through hard times and the unending nature of change. I’d love to hear her stories.

I tasted food whipped up in someone’s kitchen, thoughtfully arranged with seasonal decor and lights. I appreciated the purposeful touch of hospitality in the table settings and in those cute little bags of chocolate at each place neatly labeled with the word “Joy”. And most of all, the warm welcome of the people I got to meet today.


I heard laughter and matched each laugh to a glowing face. I was too busy enjoying their fun to notice I had joined in the chuckles.

I heard stories of answered prayers, healing and salvation through trembling lips and wet eyes, the unforgettable look of a life and family so deeply touched by the goodness of the Father. 

They may not know me and I may not know them, but this spiritual connection we share as the body of Christ is something so real and beautiful. So, I’ll keep showing up. I’ll trust the Weaver of our stories to weave us together until none of us walk alone. I’ll embrace the process and the treasure of community one hello, one hug, one meal at a time. Like the oak tree hiding in the acorn, maybe a harvest of connection sits waiting inside our baby steps. Maybe our scared yeses are really seeds in disguise. 

 I’d really love to hear from you, what does community mean to you? What’s your story? I’d love nothing more than to read it. You can comment below or email me at hello@hannahsavage.com.

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Decoration

Your Easy Advent Wreath in 10 Minutes

Anyone else start Advent, planned to use a wreath and realized they still didn’t have one? (My hand is raised.) Or maybe you just need a nice centerpiece to add some warmth and texture to your table. I’ve got you covered.

I made my first ever homemade wreaths last year and planned to do the same this year. We’ve been enjoying Jennifer Naraki’s Slow + Sacred Advent and we found ourselves half-way through the first week of Advent with no wreath. So, I started brainstorming about how to get the wreath look I wanted without lugging 3 kids to Hobby Lobby (I love you, Hobby Lobby.). This wreath became the answer and since I know you love both aesthetics and simplicity, I knew I had to share. Don’t have a wreath frame or floral wire? No problem. I didn’t either.

One of features we love about wreaths is that they’re round. That familiar shape is a symbol of everlasting life. So, what do you have that’s round?

A bowl? A basket? I used an old basket.

Now find one or two coniferous trees in your backyard…or your neighbor’s yard. Perhaps you have a park nearby, although you’ll want to check the park’s policies to make sure your gleaning is allowed. If you don’t have needle-like trees around, try boxwood or other greenery nearby.

Clip a couple of handfuls or whatever amount you think would fill in your round bowl or prop.

 

 

See? This won’t take long.

Start to arrange your pieces in a circle around the outside of your bowl, basket, plate…hat?

Sorry. Just trying to help you brainstorm.

Next, if you’re planning to use candles, take a look at how tall they are and see if they’ll need to be elevated. My goal was to put 4 candles in the middle of my basket, one for each week of Advent. I love tall candles, but since short ones are all I had, I went through my cabinets to find something to elevate my candles.

I found these. A wooden bowl and the bottom piece of a flower pot.

First, I put the flower pot bottom in upside down, arranging the needles until only the middle was showing. (Arranging. Such a funny word. Way too formal for what I was doing.)

The wooden bowl stacked on top of the flower pot bottom was just enough height to elevate the candles…and keep my house from catching on fire.

 

All that’s left is to put my wooden bowl with my four beeswax candles inside.

Then I just moved the needles around to cover up any of the white flower pot bottom still showing from underneath.

I love it. It’s a surprisingly beautiful companion to the blemished wood on our old table.

You can add some fairy lights underneath if you want.

Basket or hat, lights or no lights, let’s let that little circle be the reminder it truly is:

Emmanuel has come.

God with us.

And eternity lingers right here in our ordinary.

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