What’s a mom to do when she’s hungry for Jesus but feels like this season of motherhood affords no margin for what her soul needs most?

We know that God is with us and in us, holding all that we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), but how do we reconcile the distance and difficulty we can feel with the truth we believe? Why can it seem that peace and rest are just out of reach? It can leave a busy mom wondering if maybe the communion she craves with Jesus won’t be experienced until she gets through this season.

Maybe we’ll feel more mindful His nearness when the kids aren’t calling our name every other second, when the to do list is a little shorter, maybe when we’re a little more rested, just a little less tapped out. Maybe our thirst will be quenched when we feel like there’s more we can offer Him than a messy bun and spit-up fringed t-shirt.

Sister. You are not alone. Let’s link arms and call those thoughts out for what they are. Lies. His presence is for our right here, right now season.

Psalms 16:11 says “You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of Your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” (NLT)

Yes, there will be a day when we shall meet Him face to face. I’m certain there are no words to describe that joy and pleasure. But Jesus did not leave us stranded.

“But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you.” (John 16:11 NASB)

We’ve been given the Holy Spirit. I would have loved to watch Jesus calm the storm and laugh with Him over an open fire on the lake shore. But friend, the Holy Spirit was given. Jesus no longer just walks with us hand in hand. He’s closer than our skin.

So then, what does it mean for us to learn to live from His closeness, instead of striving for it?

I’m still learning and I invite you along. 

A couple months ago, I heard that my friend Summer Gross from A Thirst for God was inviting kindred hearts to join her in a 12-month journey called The Presence Project. She’s invited a tribe of brothers and sisters to be fellow learners with her as we explore 12 simple ancient and modern practices that help us to practice awareness of God’s presence in our real every day life.

A project and community about intimately knowing the heart of God and learning to live our lives from that place of rest?

I had to jump in.

The first practice we learned about was breath prayers.

Summer facilitated an incredible session about the scriptural implications of this practice, as well as the neuroscience behind it. Our assignment was to settle into a couple of simple breath prayers we could start to utilizing throughout our day. The prayer that my heart settled on was the very prayer my mind had disregarded when I heard it.

“The Lord (inhale) is my Shepherd (exhale).”

The Lord is my Shepherd.

I didn’t know how much my soul needed to hear it. I feel like David in Psalms 103 when he said, “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me.” For me right now, “The Lord is my Shepherd” is a prayer because it’s a cue to my soul to align with the truth.

As a homeschool mom of 3 amazing but needy children, I’m ever mindful of the way I’m shepherding and caring for those around me. I need to be reminded to cast my cares upon Jesus, because HE cares for me. His shoulders are big enough for all of the above. His message to me right now is, “Look here. I’ve got you covered.”

And I’ve found out something.

I live lighter when I know He’s there to catch me if and when I fall. My heart is safe in His pastures and His pastures extend into the darkest of night just as well as the brightest of day, coursing through my mundane and wild just the same.

I guess you could say breath prayers are quickening my eyes to see from eternity instead of the temporary. It’s like casting down an anchor that, though it does not eliminate the waves, it holds me fast. I’m more centered. Where my eyes meet His, there’s always grace for the next moment. 

I hope this intimate look into my journey has encouraged you to give this simple practice a try. If you’re trying this for the first time, here are a few tips.

This a long slow breath, longest on the exhale.

Consider a simple Scripture or prayer that you might use throughout your day 3-5 breaths at a time or in that moment anxiety or stress tries to hijack the day. There are no holes to jump through. We’re not vying for God’s approval. Prayer is our response to God’s open invitation.

Here are a few ideas from Summer and The Presence Project community. Try out a couple. Or perhaps theirs a Scripture that particularly resonating with you right now. How might you use that as your breath prayer? 

Jesus (inhale), I invite you into this moment (exhale)

Abba (inhale), I belong to You (exhale)

Father (inhale), you are here (exhale)

For a deeper dive into this practice, learn about The Presence Project here.

Sister, God is here. Let’s remind our hearts and heads that communion with Jesus is not for the “some day”. And I so value hearing from you. How does the awareness of God’s presence impact your heart, mind and body? Did you give breath prayers a try? 

(Photo credit: Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash)

I have a confession. I’m a church kid. Which means I grew up hearing Scripture my whole life and I’m ever so thankful for it. (Mom and Dad, thank you.) The challenge is that sometimes the verses I can inwardly quote hang disconnected from their surrounding texts. That’s why I often take one book of the Bible and read it over and over again. So much richness emerges when I’m enjoying the sweeping story of an letter or story. Lately, I’ve been doing that with 1 Timothy.  Because the Word is alive, I find those familiar words I can quote in my sleep call me beyond casual interpretation to a life more fully free in Him.

This is one of those verses. 

Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

II Timothy 1:6-7 NKJV

Have you ever noticed how fear loves to set the agenda?

As one who has grappled with my fair share with fear, I would argue that fear’s goal is to get us to live in a defensive posture. God, Who fashioned us in His image, designed us to live out our unique expression as image-bearers totally free from the constraints of anything not found in His eyes and His big ‘ole giant heart.

Fear, the defeated foe, seeks to take us out. Why? To mute our expression as image-bearers. The goal of conquering fear is not just peace, although that’s fully provided for. The aim of conquering fear is the same thing that casts it out (1 John 4:18). Love. We were made in the image of Love for love and with love. (Genesis 1:26, 1 John 4:7-8)

Let me ask you a question.

What’s in you that’s begging for expression? Have you regarded certain gifts within you with more regard than others? If so, why? Maybe you’re not sure you have gifts. I challenge you to sit with your coffee and notebook and ask God: “What gifts have you put inside of me?” And listen.

When it’s Jesus you’re hearing, you’ll know it. His voice is the one Who delights over you. His voice does not sound like pressure. He sounds like invitation. He sounds like the Papa who wants you to crawl up on His lap and show Him the picture you drew, and tell Him all about the world on the other side of that page that you – treasured you – dreamed up.

He’s the friend that says, “You can do this.” When we fall, He picks us us up. When we soar, He laughs and celebrates with us. When we slip into striving, He pulls us back to Grace. He kindly reminds us that our gift given in secret is just as beautiful and important as the gift served in the presence of people. He helps us see that when we change a diaper, send a note, feed the hungry, work with excellence and stop for the one, we are handling and tasting the Kingdom of God. 

What’s your gift? Stir it up. I think we’ll all find ourselves coming alive like never before. 

I’d love to hear from you. What are the biggest fears that try to stop you from being you? What gifts do you love giving to the people around you?

This has been one of the most transitional years of my life. For starters, it was our first full year in a new community and now for the first time in 15 years, we have a new church home. I know some of you dear friends can relate.

A loss of familiarity can be daunting if not straight up terrifying, even in the face of smiling and authentic people. Building community takes TIME. And what we envision as easy doesn’t always feel that way in the process. I’m learning over and over that that’s okay.

So, I made another bold baby step forward this morning by attending a ladies’ Christmas brunch and white elephant exchange. Truly, it was lovely. I sat across from a lady who was one of the church’s founding members with her husband almost 57 years ago. Wow, what history. I have a lot of respect for a person who’s leaned into Jesus and His people through hard times and the unending nature of change. I’d love to hear her stories.

I tasted food whipped up in someone’s kitchen, thoughtfully arranged with seasonal decor and lights. I appreciated the purposeful touch of hospitality in the table settings and in those cute little bags of chocolate at each place neatly labeled with the word “Joy”. And most of all, the warm welcome of the people I got to meet today.

I heard laughter and matched each laugh to a glowing face. I was too busy enjoying their fun to notice I had joined in the chuckles.

I heard stories of answered prayers, healing and salvation through trembling lips and wet eyes, the unforgettable look of a life and family so deeply touched by the goodness of the Father. 

They may not know me and I may not know them, but this spiritual connection we share as the body of Christ is something so real and beautiful. So, I’ll keep showing up. I’ll trust the Weaver of our stories to weave us together until none of us walk alone. I’ll embrace the process and the treasure of community one hello, one hug, one meal at a time. Like the oak tree hiding in the acorn, maybe a harvest of connection sits waiting inside our baby steps. Maybe our scared yeses are really seeds in disguise. 

 I’d really love to hear from you, what does community mean to you? What’s your story? I’d love nothing more than to read it. You can comment below or email me at hello@hannahsavage.com.

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Why I read this book: Rhythms and the idea of arranging my life for spiritual transformation resonated with everything God is teaching me right now. It’s not that those ideas or practices are new to me. Experience has taught me that every season plunges me into a place of new learning curves and even greater invitations to live intentionally. I had seen quotes from this book floating around on Instagram and just knew I had to read it.

This book in a quote from Ruth Haley Barton: “Your desire for more of God than you have right now, your longing for love, your need for deeper levels of spiritual transformation than you have experienced so far is the truest thing about you. You might think that your woundedness or your sinfulness is the truest thing about you or that your giftedness or your personality type or your job title or your identity as husband or wife, mother or father, somehow defines you. But, in reality, it is your desire for God and your capacity to reach for more of God than you have right now that is the deepest essence of who you are.”

What the book is about: This book explores the power of spiritual disciplines to open us to God’s transforming love. This is not a book about rules and legalism. This, my friend, is an invitation into more. It’s not that the book expounds every way of seeking and knowing God. Of course not. But the feast that it does lay is a rich one and one that has the great possibility of changing the internal landscape of our hearts and minds even as we tie shoes, cook meals and love our family well.

My favorite parts of the book were…This is truly hard to say. The whole book flows together in a very cohesive way, building on each idea layer by layer. I will say that I truly appreciated the section at the end of each chapter called Practice. As an avid reader of great ideas, sometimes I need to be reminded to slow down and apply what I’ve learned.

All the book darts I put in my library copy before realizing I just needed my own copy.

The hardest thing about this book is… This book is written in a spirit of grace, but the driven and performance mindset so prevalent in our culture (and within us) can cause us to filter life-giving messages into more unfinished business on our to-do list. So free yourself from that thought right now. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the filters and lies that would have this be anything but a liberating adventure into the heart of God. As a close second, I would encourage anyone reading this book to not skip anything. I know statistics say that only a small fraction of people read books all the way to the end. As a busy homeschool mom of 3 kids, the perspective and admonition shared in the last chapters was imperative to fully receiving the goodness of this book in a way that I could apply in my current season.

You may want to read this book if…you’re thinking there must be more. If you’re dry and worn out, longing to connect with God more deeply, or ready to explore life-giving rhythms in your everyday life, you will love this book.

You may not want to read this book, at least for now, if…you’re already reading a book that’s incredibly rich. I’m usually reading 3-5 books at any given time, but it was important for me to give this book “room to breathe”. It’s certainly not a hard book to read, but one that provokes contemplation. Plus, I wanted time to experience each discipline through the Practice portion at the end of each chapter. This book is best savored slowly.

Where you can find the book: You can find this book on Amazon or at your local library. My gut told me I should buy this book from the beginning, but trying to be frugal, I got it from my library. Let me tell you, I filled that book up with my favorite book darts trying to mark quotes and passages. I finally gave up and received my copy through Amazon. I am huge library fan, but I’d recommend buying this one. It’s going on my shelf for a revisit every year.

Look close on the left. Yes, GENUINE evidence of toddler sticky fingers.

More about the author: Ruth Haley Barton is the author of spiritual formation books and resources including Life Together in Christ, Invitation to Solitude and Silence, Longing for More and Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership. She is a spiritual director, retreat leader, teacher and the founding president of the Transforming Center. I am a huge fan of her podcast. You can also find Ruth on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

One prayer practice that has been so life-giving to me in the throes of motherhood is praying the Word. There is something so powerful about engaging with the Word of God in prayer. I’ve created a free resource for you to do just that. I believe it will bless your socks off. Click here to see what’s included.

I can’t believe it’s been 5 years. This picture came up on my Facebook memories this morning. Do you get those?

This was a training event I did before my first (and only) triathlon in July of 2013. You see, I had woken up 9 months prior with a crazy idea that I should do a triathlon. Both haunted and exhilarated all day by the thought, I confessed my audacious dream to my husband that night, quickly met by my husband’s support and the truth that he believed in me more than I believed in myself. You see, I was a mom of a 4-year-old and 1-year-old at the time and was living in a state of overwhelm. It didn’t seem like good timing, but one baby step at a time, I started to prepare.

I decided to start with running, because it was the “easiest” and most low-cost skill to learn. I was not a runner. I had only run 1 mile once in my life and at the time couldn’t run .25 without stopping all together. So, week after week, I worked my couch to 5K program until I ran a mile straight. I still laugh when I think of the poor elderly people walking their fluffy dog by the stop sign that marked my mile marker. I sprinted like I was straining to finish a marathon and slapped that stop sign as I screamed at the top of my lungs. Victory! I didn’t care if I looked crazy. No one could know how hard I worked for that first mile.

My dear friend (now sister-in-love) took me under her wing, teaching me how to run more efficiently. We signed up for a 5K and trained toward that date. It was the next baby step that made sense in preparation for a summer triathlon. She graciously ran my pace as we finished the Pumpkin Run on a cold, rainy October day. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I was the lady pushing through the finish just as the ugly cry came gushing from deep down inside. In the physical strain, something inside of me was changing.

My next step toward a triathlon was to learn how to swim. Although I knew how to stay afloat and get across the pool, I had no idea how to swim in a straight line and breath at the same time. As I kid, I loved swimming underwater and pretending to be a mermaid. I may or may not have seen the movie Splash (with Daryl Hannah) way to may times and told a girl at a hotel pool that I was an actual real mermaid. She looked at me in disbelief inquiring as to why I had no tail in the pool. Wasn’t it obvious? My tail would not appear until I was in salt water. Duh. (Don’t worry. Since then I did repent for lying.) For a triathlon though, mermaid swimming would definitely not cut it. There was only one thing to do.

I started showing up at the gym when the old people came. 6 am. As a stay at home, there was no other way to get it done. I remember crying on the way to the gym at 5 am, jealous of all the sleeping people represented in the dark homes I was passing. Why was I doing this? I was already a tired mom. A voice deep inside told me it was worth it.

After weight lifting and cardio, I waited by the pool door waiting for the lock to click. If I wasn’t in at 6 a.m. on the dot, I wouldn’t have a swim lane. Day after day, I choked on water as I struggled to learn a proper breathing technique. I read swimming books, watched YouTube videos and took pointers from the “experts” at the pool. After 3 weeks of raising eyebrows and concern among lifeguards and my elderly counterparts, I made it across the pool for the first time with no choking or floundering. I felt unstoppable. Improving every week, I finally swam .25 mile without stopping. Now it was time to test my skills in open water at the very park I was scheduled to complete my first triathlon that summer. That was 5 years ago today.

Triathlons draw a surprising diversity of people. I was comforted to meet so many first timers at this training event that would prepare us for the real thing. My dad came along to support me, my husband holding down the fort at home.

I scanned the horizon, searching for landmarks that would keep me on track. I had read that one of the most important things to learn in open swim practice is how to use landmarks to swim straight as there would be no underwater lane like I had grown so accustomed to at the pool. I dipped my toe in the freezing water. Butterflies stirred in my stomach. As the sun made its full debut, they blew a horn and we were off into the dark, choppy water. Within yards, all the advice I had received to practice in open water made sense. Two days before, I swam confident in a calm, clear pool. Today I was crowded by swimmers in cold, cloudy water, utterly discombobulated. The breathing technique I had mastered so well in protected waters was futile as big waves interrupted my breath, challenging my rhythm as I coughed, regrouped and kept swimming.

I heard a yell over my shoulder. A fellow swimmer was panicking and crying for help. The two ladies near her shouted and panicked with her. I found myself swimming away from the finish and back to the fear-struck triathlete. Not wanting to get pulled under myself, I stopped short of her by a yard and called out, “It’s okay…deep breaths…you’re okay…you’re not alone…lean back. Relax. You’ve got this. You’re not alone. We’re with you. You’re going to finish.”

Her breathing slowed. Focus replaced the haze over her eyes as tears emerged on her wet face. After exchanging smiles and determined glances, the four of us clawed through the white-capped water in timeless silence, emerging on the sand with something more than we had entered the water with.

5 years later, I still feel that choppy water. I know you do too. It’s that space between what we’ve learned with our heads but is still being tested in our living. It’s the stretch between our Biblical ideals and vision as moms and the blunt realities of every day as we strive to live those out.

I could point back to those days with despair. When I look in the mirror each day, I don’t recognize the go-getter me that I romanticize from my past. I struggle with basic responsibilities. The critic in my head has lots of ammunition. But grace calls out. The truth is that you and I are in a season we’ve never been in before. It’s easy to admire the hindsight view of days gone by while Jesus invites us to sit with Him in our present.

I think if we listen closely, there’s a voice in our choppy waters. “It’s okay…deep breaths…you’re not alone…lean back. I’m in the water with you and we’re going to finish together.”

I believe there’s power in naming things. Sometimes questions are the best place to start.

What are my choppy waters? Don’t shame yourself for naming something you judge to be a small thing. Is it tiredness? A child who hasn’t learned to read? A financial concern or failure that whispers in your ear? Or maybe it’s a big thing that you’re scared to name, because it’s scary to hope.

Who’s with me in the water? We know God is, but maybe He’s inviting us to know it deeper down than we’ve ever known it before. He’ll never leave us. He’s not giving up on us. His determined love can give us courage to not give up on ourselves. But who else is there? Who has God surrounded you with? Maybe it’s time to reach out for a listening ear, a prayer or a laugh over coffee. We don’t have to face the choppy waters alone.

What’s God speaking to my heart? Be still? Lean back? It’s rarely the booming voice that calls us into our truest, bravest us. It’s often the gentle nudging and the friendly leading. Not from far off on the distant shore, but right there in the water with us.

Whatever our choppy may be, let’s look to the horizon. We will emerge, sister. We will walk out of this season with goodness we didn’t know going in. Then we’ll gather our stories and turn them into buoys for someone else.

My greatest buoy in every season of life is the Word of God. Praying Scripture has been such a powerful way for me to anchor my heart in truth while posturing myself to receive from God even as I go about my busy day. I’ve created a free resource for you. Here’s the link if you’d like to learn more or get it in your inbox today.

I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to leave a comment below or email me at hello@hannahsavage.com. You can also find me on Instagram where I share my real life. I’d love to connect.

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As you probably already know, books are kind of a big deal to me. I. love. them. And if you’re like me, you love great book recommendations. That’s why I’ve decided to start sharing our Bookworm Family Faves every month. You’ll essentially be joining my family in real time. I’m not curating these off a library database or based on someone else’s list. All the books you find here are books we either read (short books) or finished reading (longer chapter books) this month. I hope you find this bookworm snapshot a fun way to find books that may interest or bless your family. Now on to the books!

Can I be honest with you?

Even as I write this, I’m in the thick of the raw of life. This week, I struggled to help my child with sensory processing disorder, had disrupted sleep, overcame a fear and experienced a milestone victory, experienced deep personal hurt, and had a number of things not go as planned (Have I ever told you how much I love plans?). I bet if we sat down for coffee, we could talk for hours about countless decisions, the beautiful highs and the legitimately hard. We know all too well that when the waves come crashing in – in whatever form they come – an inspiring quote or the quick fix of man’s praise won’t cut it. I’ve often wished that I could hit pause on life so that I could process all the things going on in and around me, but yet, I’ve noticed that often my greatest sense of clarity in life and motherhood has been gained in the place where anchors mean the most – in a storm. Maybe our greatest storm is our greatest opportunity in disguise.

Seven Questions, Seven Anchoring Answers

I’ll be honest. When I was a mom facing all the rigors of working full-time outside the home, I was a bit naïve about what it would take to keep me thriving when I finally had the chance to stay at home. You could say I’ve been schooled over the last 6 years of stay at home – and now homeschool – life. I’d love to share with you some of the sanity savers I’ve learned mostly the hard way. Hopefully they can be of value to you in your own journey. (No time to read? Watch a video version here.)

Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head. Luke 9:58

Jet-lagged from my trip back to Houston, I lumbered my squeaky suitcase up to the large wooden door. The adrenaline that had pulsed through my veins over the last several weeks of life-changing mission trips was now muted by the apprehension of finding a new job and a new home now that my parents were relocated back to Oklahoma. The relief of a friend’s invitation to stay with her for a couple of nights bought me time to consider my options and sort out logistics. I hoped I wasn’t imposing as I gently knocked on the door.

The air was thick with tension. My kids’ wet faces flushed with the evidence of the sibling squabble gone wrong. Hurt hearts burst out stinging words. I know they weren’t meant, yet they couldn’t be taken back. Their outbursts shocked me as I internally scrambled through my child-raising handbook for the winning recipe for this situation and remembered that my luck-of-the-draw canned response did not exist. I would need Holy Spirit for this.