*This post contains affiliate links.
My kids deal with entitlement. There, I said it. I think just about every one of us cringe when we get around someone who’s fully convinced the world owes them something. The last thing in the world we want as parents is for our children to become those people, unable to thrive in the real world as adults. Besides, we want our children to live for God and to practice the type of stewardship that honors Him. When entitlement raises its head, we try training it out. When that doesn’t work and we’re feeling a little desperate, we try shaming it out. Simple interactions escalate. Even when they comply, we feel a sense of dissatisfaction because we have a sense that their compliance sometimes hints of resentment. We see the look in their eyes and the meager fruit before us. This is not working.
Can you relate? Here are 3 steps we’ve taken to start the entitlement turnaround in our own home.
- First came the wake-up call.
I saw hints of this weakness before, but these last 9 months of living on 3 acres and adding 2 cats and 10 chickens to our humble “homestead” has slowly helped me to see that this is truly an area that’s requiring a proactive investment of time and energy on our part if we want to stop the mayhem and start thriving in the area of stewardship as a family.
There was a week in particular when I heard myself repeating instruction over and over, which was met by many rebuttals and very strong emotions in my children. It had been there in a subtle way all along, but now it seems this flaw was staring me in the face.
I word it that way because I realized that while I cannot single-handedly force my children into a good work ethic, it hit me in the gut that there was something we had missed as parents that would create the right conditions for the growth my children truly need to become successful, well-rounded adults. The light-bulb moment wasn’t just that my kids had entitlement somewhere tucked into their belief system. It was that turnaround would start with us as parents.
- We sought out the wisdom of more-seasoned parents.
My husband and I are already big fans of Jim and Lynne Jackson from Connected Families. Right around the time I realized we needed help, I was excited to find that they now have a course called The Entitlement Fix. Normally, such a title would turn me off, because it sounds a bit like a magic pill, but because we’ve taken a course from them before, I was hopeful this course would provide some timely wisdom. I had already read Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World by Kristen Welch (which I highly recommend by the way), but I felt there was something we were missing about setting the tone in our home and learning to empower our kids in their growth in a way that would foster connection, instead of deteriorating it. I bought the course right way.
- We took action.
Knowing that my greatest weakness as a parent is in execution, I printed out the companion guide for The Entitlement Fix course and kept it handy as I watched the video sessions. Because their courses are broken down in bite-size pieces, I was able to fit a session in here and there throughout my busy days. Through Jim and Lynne’s systematic and perspective-inducing approach, I quickly realized the root of many of the entitlement issues in our home. With the tools they provided, we were able to come up with a game plan. As we’ve started tweaking how we handle areas of push back like house work, school work and meals, I’ve already experienced a difference in my children, although I’ll admit, I think the biggest difference is in me.
Honestly, I wish I’d found this course sooner.
But if there’s anything I’m learned from the Jacksons’ is that it’s never too late to have a powerful impact on our children.
Jim and Lynne’s sense of humor takes what can truly be a frustrating topic and reminded me that I’m not alone in these challenges. One of the reasons I love their approach so much is that the aim of our training is not just compliant behavior, but healthy relationships and ultimately transformation. The sessions are full of Biblical wisdom, touching stories and practical role plays that helped me not just learn sound principles, but catch a hope-filled vision of how I could implement these ideas in my home. I’d heartily recommend this course to anyone. The sooner, the better.
It’s true that if you buy this course through my link, I will receive a commission for my referral at no added cost to you. However, I want you to know that I found and purchased this course with my own money before I ever knew there was a referral program available. I am committed to only share with you what I truly believe will bring you value. If you believe this course would add value to your family as it has to mine, your purchase simply empowers me to do what I’m so passionate about. Serving you.
Here’s your link for The Entitlement Fix Course. Let me know how it goes! I’d love to hear your stories and I’d be happy to answer any further questions you have about my experience with the course. Leave a comment below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.